


Lover's Anxiety

by origamigf



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, First Kiss, M/M, Nervousness, Post-Canon, hand-holding, physical affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/origamigf/pseuds/origamigf
Summary: Tsukishima wants to hold hands and kiss Sakusa, but he's never made the first move before in a relationship before.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou & Tsukishima Kei, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60
Collections: kagsivity's fic archive





	Lover's Anxiety

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi was going to be tougher than Tsukishima thought. At first, he thought it would be simple enough. After all, they were pretty similar in their own right. They both enjoyed having silence, they were both pursuing volleyball as a pro-player, they both hated how ridiculous Hinata could be at times, they valued personal space, and the list could go on. It seemed like a match made in heaven for the two of them. Really, what could go wrong? 

A lot of things could go wrong actually. 

Tsukishima Kei did not realize how gay he actually was before dating Sakusa Kiyoomi.

In previous relationships, certain things came naturally. He never had to make the first step for anything, whether it was handholding, cuddling, or kissing. Every partner he had always made the first move, sometimes too fast or too often which became annoying for him. But this relationship? It was a little bit harder for him. Why? Well, Sakusa doesn’t make a single move himself. He never reaches out for Tsukishima’s hand or goes in for a kiss. When they’re alone at one of their apartment’s together, it feels like they sit a foot apart. Neither never scoots close, they don’t cuddle. 

For the first time in his life, Tsukishima feels  _ needy _ . He craves Sakusa’s touch and thinks about it constantly. He chalks it up to him being used to it and not the fact that maybe he adores physical attention more than he lets on. No, that’s not it at all in fact. 

No, he doesn’t think about Sakusa’s arm hanging over his shoulder when Kuroo does the same to him when they meet after an important JVA meeting about an upcoming sports promotional event they’re arranging. He doesn’t think about how Sakusa’s hug would feel when Bokuto pulls him in harshly for one. He doesn’t wonder how Sakusa’s warmth would feel when him and Akaashi sit close next together in Kuroo’s shitty cramped car. 

None of these thoughts flood on his mind on a Tuesday night as he stares out the car’s window as they head to a nearby gym to practice together, even though Kuroo and Akaashi have long retired. He doesn’t have Akaasi questioning if he’s hot because apparently his face has gone pink thinking about it. He doesn’t experience Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s relentless teasing about ‘Ooh, who are you thinking about? What - do you have a crush on one of us? Hmm? Or is it that new guy you’re seeing?’ No, Tsukishima doesn’t call them stupid annoying teenage boys despite all of them being in their early-twenties because this is not occur. 

And  _ no _ , he is not nervous as he sits on the couch, a good cushion amount away from Sakusa, watching some god awful show that apparently Atsumu recommended. They had both agreed it was bound to be trash and they were correct on that, but the only good part of it is that he finally has an excuse to flicker his gaze back and forth between the television screen and Sakusa’s pretty face. 

His anxiety does not spike drastically as his eyes lower down from Sakusa’s bored eyes to his lips, wondering what it would be like if they would kiss. No, he does not soak up every little movement Sakusa makes as he watches the show, finding it not charming in the slightest. 

“Kei, you’re staring at me.” Crap, maybe he was and maybe he just got caught. “Is there something wrong?” 

He bites the inside of his cheek. He had to be so obvious, didn’t he? This is what he gets for being friends with a bunch of PDA buffoons. “It’s nothing, the show is bad just like we thought. I’m a little bored by it is all.” 

“Yeah,” Sakusa fucking chuckles. “We were right on that, I’ll turn it off.” 

He drowns in the way Sakusa leans forward and picks up the remote, clicking the television off and looking back at Tsukishima with a small, polite smile. “What would you rather do?” 

‘I’d rather kiss you.’ He thinks, staring into his eyes. He feels his face heat up. This is so not good. 

“Maybe a walk would be good,” He says instead. “It’s a little stuffy in here after spending an hour watching that god forsaken show.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Sakusa hums, getting up from the couch. “Let’s take a stroll around the block then. We could go to that one cafe that Osamu mentioned.” 

“Sounds better than this show that’s for sure,” He tries to play it off, following Sakusa’s lead as they head towards the entrance of his apartment where the coathangers and shoes are kept at. He stops dead in his tracks as Sakusa hands him his coat with a pleasing, sweet smile. 

This man is going to be the death of him.

“Thank you.” He says instead, slipping it on him and stepping into his shoes nervously. He feels like such a fool right now, unknowing of what to do, how to make the first move. He’s never been on the other side of things. How do you do it?

If he had bothered to ask anyone, they would have teased the hell out of him instead of giving him actual needed advice. His friends really never grew up. 

The air is fresh and crisp as they walk, a good sliver of space between them. Tsukishima wants to stop that though. He wants to move closer. He wants to hold his hand, he wants to reach out and hold it tightly. He wants his heart to be full as he holds his hand out in daylight, strolling around Sakusa’s home. He wants - 

“Kei?” Sakusa says, widening his eyes as he looks down at Tsukishima holding his hand. 

Fuck. He didn’t even know he had grabbed his hand, he had just been thinking about it so much. If he was going to do that, he should have asked. He should have been better. What kind of fucking idiot just grabs and doesn’t even register it in their own head that they did it? 

“I’m sorry!” Tsukishima stills in his tracks, whipping his hand away from Sakusa’s where it stays limp at his side. He feels his face going warm again, but for a different reason. For a much worse reason. God, he feels like an idiot. What was he doing? “Sorry, I didn’t even think about it...I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable…” 

“Kei,” Sakusa says as Tsukishima holds his hand close to his chest, looking down at his feet stubbornly. God, this is bad. “Kei, can you look at him?” 

His boyfriend is asking him politely, how can he be rude and refuse? So he does. He lifts his gaze that was glued to the sight of his shoes on the concrete of the sidewalk to Sakusa’s face. It was a sight that was new to him. He was...pink, just like Tsukishima had been in the car. He was pouting and his face was pink, it was cute. His eyes glimmered with a spark of embarrassment. He looked adorably flustered. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, alright?” Sakusa says, reaching out for Kei’s hand and holding it. “I...I didn’t expect it, okay? I just...thought you didn’t like physical affection. You’re my boyfriend so naturally, I’m...gonna be embarrassed when you hold my hand.” 

His face was red. He knew that, but he had to ask. 

“D...do you want me to hold your hand?” He sounded like a naive child, looking into Sakusa’s eyes, waiting for a clear answer. 

He may be flustered but he was quick to answer, “Yes. I want other things too...things I think you might want to.”

“Things?”

Sakusa’s face flushed more. “Things that you shouldn’t do out in the open in the middle of the street, it’s rude to strangers.” 

His heart sped up as their fingers slipped between the gaps in their hands. They held each other’s hand properly this time around. Even with flushed faces and fast heartbeats, they were happy like this. 

“Then can we go home?” Tsukisima asked, “To your apartment?” 

Sakusa nodded, his face red and adorable.

Tsukishima really wanted to kiss him. 

They made their way back to his apartment, not minding the odd stares they got as two blushing idiots holding hands in silence. He felt like a kid again as they held hands. He felt so naive and shy like never before. 

“Things...like kissing.” Sakusa said, looking up at Tsukishima once the blonde had closed the door behind him. 

“I…” Tsukishima felt so hot right now. “I want that too.” 

“You do?”

“Yeah, a lot.” 

“...”

“...”

This was the problem. Neither of them could ever make a move. 

But they needed to, because they wanted this.

Tsukishima wants this. 

So he moves in a little closer, nudging into Sakusa’s personal space for the first time ever. He stares into his eyes, fighting the urge to look away from it. He feels so shy and dumb right now, but he needs to ignore that because Sakusa is staring straight back, wanting and waiting. 

“Are you going to…”

Impatiently so. 

“Yeah, is that okay…”

A tug at his coat.

“Yeah.” 

Sakusa lifts himself up by standing on his tiptoes, looking a little cuter and sillier than normal to Tsukishima. He eats the sight up before he closes in, feeling stupid as he slides his face closer to Sakusa. 

How do you kiss someone again? 

He doesn’t really remember how, but he tries. 

They bump noses, earning a snort from Sakusa who just smiles. 

“You need to stop smiling,” Tsukishima pouts. “Or I can’t…”

“It’s not my fault you’re prettier…” 

Saying that is so not helping. 

Somehow, somehow, they manage to find the right way to do this with their mouths pressed against each other’s as Tsukishima’s cold hands hold Sakusa’s burning cheeks as they kiss. 


End file.
